If worry was an Olympic sport, I think I’d bring home the gold. Before you even start reading, I apologize; I have a lot of time on my hands.
This is what I think it would look like if worrying was an Olympic sport.
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Announcer Bob: Well it’s looking to be a grey day out here on site in North Korea Jim. I am excited to be hosting the Worrying Events here at the 2017 Summer Olympics in Geogjeong Stadium. I think we might be in for a close battle today.
Jim: That’s right Bob. We’ve got some serious contenders out here today. We are going to start the events this morning with the 1600 metre Worrying Relay. These guys have been training hard for the last three years. There is a lots of anticipation about today’s event.
Bob: That’s right Jim – we have teams from North Korea, Canada, the USA, Sweden, and Russia. They all seem really concerned, so it should be a good show. There were rumours that Russia might be banned as they were using a special blend of hallucinogens to induce anxiety, but blood tests were taken and they have been cleared to participate. What do you think Jim – do you have a favourite going into this relay.
Jim: I don’t know Bob – this could be a tight race. The North Koreans always seem to have a great look of concern, but let’s see if they can maintain that level of anxiety for the length of the race. Rumor has it that government officials are waiting to see if they place and if not, the consequences could be pretty dire for them, so that kind of anxiety is only going to help their game. The US has always performed rather weakly in this event, but today they are running with an all immigrant team, so they’ve got reason to worry. Wait a minute – I think their starter has a Hilary tattoo on his arm…this could be a game-changer for the US. The whole team is looking really intense. The Canadians have been quiet about their contenders, but they say they have a heavyweight that they are excited to introduce to the Olympic field – we’ll see what that’s all about. Nobody really knows why Sweden is here..what…is there an IKEA store closing or something!…(obnoxious laughter).
Bob: (chortling) Right you are Jim – oh – wait….there goes the starter gun. Wow – that is a great start. The Russians have started strong followed by the US who generally seem quite agitated. The Canadians are quickly picking up momentum with their rookie teammate quickly building speed. The North Koreans keep looking behind them, which is really slowing them down. It seems they got a little gun shy from the starter pistol. You think they would train for that – hey Jim. The Swedes – well where are the Swedes Jim – maybe they are trying to assemble a 400 piece table because they are definitely not in this race. They are running like they are out for a Sunday jog – what is up with that?
Jim: Wow Bob – this is really a close race Bob….no wait….the Canadian girl is gaining ground…look at her pace. I have never seen that level of intense worry on a contender. Can she maintain it for the burden pass off. Let’s see….here she comes….wait a minute…what just happened Bob?
Bob: I don’t know Jim – she didn’t pass burden…and she yelled something to her teammates as she ran by. I have no idea what she said. Can we get a close up Jim?
Jim: It looks like she’s saying “It’s today pie nice hotties.”..whatever that means??? Crazy Canadians – they’re friendly, but they don’t always make sense.
Bob: Right you are Jimbo, but they do have some good coffee. But I don’t know if that is what she said – that doesn’t seem to make sense. Let’s slow-mo that shot………can we get the mic in?………. I think she said “It’s ok guys – I got this!” Wow – imagine that – after all that team training and she refuses to share the burden with her team. But look at her pace – this is spectacular!
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Ok….that’s enough. That was just plain old getting out of hand. I think you get the point though. 🙂
I am a chronic worrier…it is my fuel…it’s what I do best. I’ve been an excellent worrier since I was a child – it’s how I roll; it might be my super-power. It’s not that I just sit in a chair and worry; I think I am a rather proactive worrier. I once called the rehab hospital at home to question them on whether Ben would be able to drive on his own one day or whether I would need to enrol him in an adapted program because he has a hard time doing a shoulder check. Anyways, they were like “ummmm….I’m pretty sure you don’t need to worry about this yet because your son is…..let’s see here….ONE YEAR OLD! To which I replied “ummmm- I just finished talking to my banker about RESPs, and nobody thinks that’s crazy – and that’s happening later than the driving thing”. Anyways, even though they were super friendly, they told me I should probably check back in about 10 years. If I find out later that there’s a 15 year waiting list I will FREAK OUT!
Anyways, it seems like Ben’s surgery will likely happen on Monday, which will allow me a lot of productive worrying opportunities over the weekend. Anyways, we have a good idea what to expect from the surgery; although nothing is ever written in stone. I trust our team to take care of Ben. I’ve always brought Benjamin into the O.R. to hold him while they put him to sleep in Edmonton, but it is not necessarily the norm here. I think they are worried that people will get all emotional and crazy and just make things worse for the kids and weird for the team. I had to talk to Child Life here who sent a letter to Child Life there stating that I seem normal and will not likely freak out on the day of surgery. The decision rests with the anesthesiologist. So, I had a chance to meet with one of the anesthesiologists today, so I had to spend most of the appointment trying to pretend I was super normal, so she will let me in the O.R. to help Ben get his IV in. I think she had a hint of my insanity when I casually suggested that she might have good results if she used a grade 3 video laryngoscope, but then I quickly backed off and pretended I was normal. I think I may have passed the test – we’ll see Monday.
Benjamin is doing well; he is healthy and strong, but he will miss his halo. I am trying to come up with a less invasive version of it, and when I do I will market it to 4-8 year old superheroes and I will make BILLIONS! I’m also working on a more portable one that kids can wear in the parks. Seriously, who doesn’t want to fly. Hello Dragon’s Den….I’m coming!
Ben’s x-rays this week hadn’t moved much, so it is time to do this I guess. We have been having some problems with his ears, but they are not infected, so we can see what happens after the surgery. The ENT at MCH says the right ear canal is partially collapsed, and the left is severely collapsed, but we are not sure if that is the case or if it is because his canals are so crazy small. Anyways, that is not a priority for now. Thanks again for everyone’s kind comments and support.
